I usually attach a photo of my packed fridge, overflowing hydrator, or glorious produce from my CSA box to illustrate some of the items necessary to the weekly menu and have sort of done so today, but from a slightly different perspective.
Today’s photo shows what my hydrator looks like, right now, before the groceries arrive, as an illustration of how I try not to waste food. The remainder herbs will be used in various dishes in the days to come, as will the scallions, the leeks will form the base of tonight’s dinner, the carrots will make a comeback in a salad and possibly a lunch soup, with a couple set aside for Lucas’ Wednesday request, and the cucumber will get dunked in hummus for a snack at some point. I am not mentioning this to be sanctimonious about food waste but because I have been grappling with a dilemma and keeping food waste even lower than usual makes me feel slightly better than I would if I didn’t.
I have been feeling increasingly uneasy over the past few weeks, struggling with the moral implications of cooking and eating as L. and I do. These days I feel like the home cook equivalent of Nero, fiddling in my kitchen and posting pretty food shots to Instagram while New York burns. I have been wrestling with the issue of being able to afford groceries while so many cannot and have been trying to relieve that guilt by contributing to the Comfort Pantry each Sunday, thereby at least ensuring that 10 families who wouldn’t otherwise have meals for the week. That doesn't feel like enough, and I have always been really good about getting right in there and volunteering in emergencies, but I don't want to chance going out unless I have to, and am fully aware of how lucky I am that I can arrange my life so that I don't have to.
I have been asking myself if it is ethical to ask employees to keep working at plants that could put their lives at risk so that I can buy what I feel like eating. Are my needs worth more than those deliver my groceries to me? Is it wrong of me to be very grateful that I had a long-standing weekly delivery slot which has afforded me the luxury of home deliveries during lockdown? Is deciding that if I, and others like me, don’t consume then people will lose their jobs a rationalization?
I cannot understand that food banks are running on empty, that people are hungry and that farmers in the US are plowing crops back into the ground, dumping milk and eggs and culling chicken because their clients - hotels, restaurants and schools - are not buying. There has to be some commonsense solution for this.
Is it incredibly privileged of me to have the opportunity to think about all of this when my ethical paradoxes are so obviously less consequential than all of the loss that I am seeing around me?
I have no answers for any of these questions, not really. And ultimately, as always with food and cooking, it comes down to an expression of love and comfort, and continuity, and keeping the home fires burning – so to speak – until this is over.
Sunday “Pantry Roulette”; fridge, freezer and pantry item dinner]
Baby Watercress Salad with Anchovy-Green Peppercorn Dressing
Asparagus, Bacon and Taleggio Galette
Monday [Wildcard; a more complex or fiddly dish than usual to test my culinary skills]
Carrot Salad with Mustard Dressing
Tuesday [Pasta]
Mixed Salad
Wednesday [L.'s choice
Thursday [Fish]
Tuna Sushi “Burgers” with Avocado
Steamed Asparagus with Miso-Mayo
Friday [Veggie-centric]
Saturday ["Picnic"; something that is easy to assemble and easy to eat in front of a movie]
Hotdogs with Mustard and Homemade Sauerkraut
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